Tips to Get Over a Breakup

Breakups are always hard, whether it ends harshly or you both just realize y’all are no longer compatible. It is hard. I hate breaking up with people, whether it is a boyfriend or a friend that I have had for years. But things happen and we have to move on. See the ways that I get over breakups below…

Blocking Spree: Depending on how the relationship ended, you may want to block the person and their friends and family so that you are not triggered every time you see their name or picture. It may be good to block them as you heal so that you are not tempted to stalk them which will only make you even more sad (trust me, I have been there.). If you don’t feel comfortable blocking them, I suggest using those good ol’ social media settings that allow y’all to still be friends but without seeing what is on each others pages unless you directly go to their page. Whatever you have to do to protect your peace, do that!

Write a Letter: Closure really isn’t necessary and from my experience it causes more pain because you never get the answers you are looking for and end up in a spiral of needing more for the sake of “closure”. To put it bluntly, the closure was the end of the relationship and nothing else matters. But if you just feel the need to get things off of your chest because you feel heavy. I recommend writing a detailed letter. Include everything you want to tell that person in the letter and don’t hold back. Then breathe and rip it up or burn it. You don’t need to send it to them. You just need to release. Take as long as you need to write the letter and make it as long as you need it to be to get everything out. But at the end of it, get rid of it and allow that to be the closure you need.

Journal: Take time to journal daily as much as you need to. Be honest with your journal and write if you are having a bad day and what is bad about the day. Write your triggers, how, and why it made you feel that way. Write out your bad days but also note your good days as well and what was good about it. I promise you, when you heal and then you go back and look on those bad days, you’ll be so proud of yourself from overcoming it.

Tap into Your Spiritual Life: Getting closer to God or whomever you connect with spiritually is very helpful in getting over a break up especially if during that relationship you strayed away from your relationship with God. Some ways you can tap back in is by taking a few moments throughout the day to talk to Him and tell Him how you are feeling and what it is that you need from Him. Ask Him to give you strength, heal your heart, and help you to believe in love again. Ask Him to heal you and prepare you for your next partner. Once you are healed, you can also ask Him for the type of partner that you need. Now is the perfect time to get into your Word, find scriptures that are centered on healing. Attend church so that you can be among other positive people and catch a sermon that speaks to your soul. I would even say go out to Sunday lunch with your favorite people from church just to connect and be around positive vibes. You can also meditate. If you are new to meditation, it’ll feel weird the first couple of times but then you’ll get use to it. I would suggest starting with a simple 5-minute meditation and then work your way up to the larger ones.

Do Things You Enjoy: A lot of times when we are in a relationship we forget the things that we enjoyed prior to getting into a relationship. Figure out those things that make you smile and do those things. For me, it was as simple as taking a nice candle lit bath infused with aromatherapy and R & B music playing in the background. I also traveled a lot to meet and connect with new people.

Hang Out with Supportive Friends & Family: Hang out with those that you can express sadness to when you are feeling low and those that will work hard to keep you upbeat and happy. You do NOT want to hang around those who bash you for the failed relationship and make you feel as though your feelings aren’t valid and just want you to “get over it”. The more you hang around those with good energy, the better you will feel and the better it is to help along your healing.

I could go on and on with different things that you can do to get over a breakup, but these are my top 6 action items to start on the journey to healing. Please take the time to properly heal before getting into another relationship and realize that just because a relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean that you are not worthy of love and a successful relationship. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Please comment any tips that have helped you heal during a breakup. I would love to hear about it. You can also share this blog with someone who is currently going through a breakup.